A dominant woman must be noble, distant and exclusive.

She is inaccessible, always covers her female sexual characteristics and doesn't let anyone touch her!

Nude photos and sex movies are not exclusive, but third class.

This thought is thrown at me from time to time, claiming that this is the only way to be perceived as a credible and real goddess.

However, I started out as a sub and am still a self-confessed switcher; even if I don't offer this in sessions. I don't think this makes me more untrustworthy, but on the contrary gives me experience that other dominatrixes may not have. I know how it feels to feel powerless and helpless. I know the meditative state between pain and arousal. I know the shame feelings, the fear and the vulnerability. I know the need for love mixed with violence.

Thus, I understand the desires of my subs and can respond to them.

Secondly, I think that behind the former statement there is also sexist and patriarchal thinking. Why is a dominant woman only valuable and credible if she is clothed and sexually unapproachable? Doesn't this also conceal the belief that women cannot or should not be sexual? Isn't someone else trying to tell me how I should be?

What if I am a dominant exhibitionist? If I love to have sex in front of other people. What if I love to have sex with many different people, preferably at the same time and in front of an audience? What if I love to drive others crazy with my naked body? What if I want to share my sex life with you on video?

What if I am a dominant woman who stands by it and shouts out into the world: I am strong and I am vulnerable. I am top and I am sub. I have no shame and no fear to show my body as it is, because my body is not a sex object, but a work of art.