Fear. Pain. Disgust. Desire. Ecstasy. You’ve learned to hold these states back. I’m going to show you the opposite.

At first glance, BDSM and tantric eroticism seem to occupy two different ends of the sexual spectrum. 

When you think of tantra, you might smell the scent of incense. Soft music. Singing bowls. Gentle caresses. Breathing exercises. 

With BDSM, you probably think more of cold chains, leather whips, and the smell of disinfectant.

I want you to leave these categories behind. My work in the sexual realm cannot be reduced to simple buzzwords. Tantra and BDSM both hold a place in my heart. Both are closely intertwined as mutually dependent aspects of my philosophy. 

When you encounter me, it is never superficial. I will draw you down into the depths of your consciousness, where you are completely at one with yourself and thus with the whole. Isn’t that what humanity has been seeking for millennia?

During my first degree in “Indology,” I wrote my bachelor’s thesis on the Vijñāna Bhairava Tantra, an ancient Indian text that makes astonishing statements about the Divine and how to attain it:

sarvaṃ dehaṃ cinmayaṃ hi jagad vā paribhāvayet |

yugapan nirvikalpena manasā paramodayaḥ || 63 ||

If one contemplates simultaneously that one's entire body and the universe consists of nothing but Consciousness, then the mind becomes free from thoughts and the supreme Awakening occurs. (Translated by Bettina Bäumer)

The Origins of Tantra

The Neo-Tantra movement has strongly shaped the image of spiritual, physical, and philosophical practice in the West. But Tantra is so much more than what we have made of it. 

Tantra is a path to spiritual enlightenment in (ancient) Indian philosophy. In contrast to comparable spiritual practices (such as Buddhism), sensual experience on the physical level is explicitly part of the practice. The beauty of the tantric path is that the body is not regarded as impure, but as a gateway to divine consciousness.

jagdhi-pāna-kṛtollāsa-rasānanda-vijṛmbhaṇāt |

bhāvayed bharitāvasthāṃ mahānandas tato bhavet || Verse 72  ||

When one is filled with joy arising from the pleasure of eating and drinking, one should meditate on the state of fullness. Then the great bliss will arise. (From the Vijñāna Bhairava Tantra, translated by Bettina Bäumer).

Sexuality is only a Spark in the Original Teachings of Tantra

However, using the sensual as a starting point for meditation is no excuse for aimless hedonism. Worldly temptations lurk at every turn of the tantric path and threaten to distract us from spiritual practice. That is why, compared to yoga, Tantra is considered the dangerous path to enlightenment. Ironically, it is precisely these distractions that we often understand as Tantra in the modern world. 

This is not entirely bad. Modern Tantra opens up a new approach to sexuality for many people. Abdominal breathing, vocal moaning, and body awareness are ways to relax and connect with ourselves, others and the divine. 

Tantra is not a singular teaching, but consists of various schools of thought. It is equally a religion, a spiritual practice and a philosophy of life. The modern understanding of these ancient scriptures also has their place.

And what does this have to do with BDSM?

BDSM is nothing but intense feeling. 

Whether bondage, dominance, submission or erotic pain: all practices under this umbrella serve to immerse oneself in a world of emotions that otherwise often remains closed off. That is what makes BDSM so appealing: We let go of expectations and external pressures and thus experience something extraordinary.

During the intense moments of a session, some slaves experience a state of ecstasy and complete fulfillment. In the scene, this phenomenon is referred to as “subspace” and is comparable to a form of ecstasy or silent, unconscious meditation. Ancient Indian texts, such as the Spanda Kārikā, also state that intense states can be used to connect with the omnipresent, divine consciousness:

Atikruddhah prahrsto vã kim karomi iti vã misan ||

Dhãvan vã yatpadam gacchet tatra spandah pratisthitah | Chapter 1, Verse 22 

When someone is extremely angry or overjoyed, or pleads in despair or helplessness, “What am I to do?”, or when one runs for one’s life: In all these moments, a state of intensity arises and one becomes connected through the energy of vibration (own translation).

Receiving divine energy also plays a role in the context of worship and submission. When you surrender yourself to me, I become your Goddess. My body can then infuse you with divine energy and transport you to boundless states.

How I Combine Tantra & BDSM in My Practice

Of course, it’s not as though you’ll fall into ecstasy and enlightenment with a snap of your fingers. Anyone who wants to combine BDSM and Tantra must take the necessary time and effort to do so. Meditation and achieving higher states of consciousness require focus and regular practice.

I notice that many of my submissives approach kink from a mental level. Their desire is shaped by specific fantasy-constructs and a focus on the external: Outfits, materials, toys. A thousand thoughts race through their minds: Am I doing this right? My mistress looks so beautiful. I wish she would spit on me right now. Why can't I get hard right now? That pinches—should I say something?

But when we turn our attention inward and perceive every stroke, every caress, every sensation, such distractions fade away. Feeling is a more powerful stimulus than seeing. Close your eyes and truly perceive what is there. You will feel much more intensely than if you kept your eyes open.

At the beginning of a session, I’ll briefly explain the philosophy to you and then guide us through a shared meditation. This can serve as the transition to a sensual, meditative play, during which I’ll guide you into relaxation. You’ll fall deeper and deeper into the sensory experience. And you won’t crash—you’ll fly. In the words of the Vijñāna Bhairava Tantra:

kṣutādyante bhaye śoke gahvare vā raṇād drute |

kutūhale kṣudhādyante brahmasattāmayī daśā || Verse 118 ||

At the beginning and end of sneezing, in a state of fear or sorrow, (standing) on top of an abyss or while fleeing from a battlefield, at the moment of intense curiosity, at the beginning or end of hunger; such a state comes close to the reality of Brahman. (translated by Bettina Bäumer)

This astonishing description paints a radical picture of divinity—one that is completely value-free and encompasses everyday feelings, cruelty, and strong negative emotions alike. 

Applied to BDSM, this means that it is not merely about enduring emotional and physical states. I want you to perceive them fully and consciously, thereby entering a higher state. We liberate ourselves not in spite of our suffering, but precisely because of it. Gentle. Pleasurable. Painful. All of this is part of the tantric experience.

kiñcid aṅgaṃ vibhidyādau tīkṣṇasūcyādinā tataḥ |

tatraiva cetanāṃ yuktvā bhairave nirmalā gatiḥ || Verse 93 ||

If one pierces any limb or part of the body with a sharp need or any other instrument, then by concentrating on that very point, one attains the pure state of Bhairava [ divine consciousness ] (Vijñāna Bhairava Tantra, translated by Bettina Bäumer).

Would you have thought that pain could be part of the tantric practice? According to tantra philosophy, there is nothing that is excluded from higher consciousness.

The divine is in everything: even in our deepest perversions, the feeling of latex on our skin and in speaking the stop word… One must simply be willing to open oneself to this wonderful experience.

You will never have me. But I can become a part of you.

Warm, wet, fragrant, and golden: Your throat longs to taste me. And you will. Abundantly. My body is made to bathe you—because my bladder can hold a lot and release even more. The golden shower, i.e., erotic play with urine, is one of my favorite erotic disciplines. Whether it's peeing, swallowing golden showers, bathing in it, or indulging in some of my more creative fantasies: you won't get any closer to me anywhere else. 

The taste of your goddess, so close

Our natural instinct makes us shy away from bodily excretions.

It is a social taboo to revel in urine, soak in it and taste it. The perfect basis for a kink in my opinion. After all, golden showers combine the humiliation of the submissive with the full load of physicality. When else do you have such a sexy view on the perfect pussy of a dominatrix?

You will only feel my warmth when the stream pours onto your naked skin. The splashing in your ears, the scent in your nose, the taste on your lips: golden shower is a sensual experience that appeals to all levels of consciousness. 

And yes: you will absorb something of me. More than you can handle probably. Swallowing urine is the ultimate act of devotion. My piss is not disgusting, but something precious, allowing you to absorb some of my energy and get closer to me.

Why I love golden showers

It's really no surprise that you like me pissing on you. Why I bless you with my piss is more surprising.

The short answer: I enjoy golden showers. To be honest, I even have a personal penchant for piss, which is why there are some films where I exchange piss with other pretty dominatrixes. But with you piss play will go only one way: Me peeing on you!

Standing over you while I relax my bladder is an awesome feeling of power. I can relieve myself and you obediently swallow everything. I like to see how far you are willing to go for me. If you feel humiliated by it, all the better.

What use is a toilet that can't flush? If I prefer to sit, I use my transparent toilet box. You lie underneath it and can see what's coming. Everything you don´t swallow will bottle up besides you and put your head underwater (or rather under piss)...

You have to swallow every drop I give you. I love seeing my slave's eyes get bigger and bigger as it flows and flows and flows. It happens quite often that my slaves don´t manage to drink everything flowing out of my pussy!

For a milder taste during golden showers, I intentionally drink a lot beforehand. On the other hand, I can also treat myself to coffee, asparagus, or beetroot for special smells and tastes.

Your piss stays where it belongs: inside you. And if some of it leaks out, you can be sure it will find its way back: into your mouth!

Which fantasy can you fulfill for me?

I love to imagine different scenarios for golden shower. Maybe you can play the leading role in one of them:

An ice dildo mold filled with my piss. This creates a golden shower-flavored ice popsicle in the shape of a dildo that you can suck on. Or we could do something else with the dildo...

I want to pee into a slave's water bottle at the gym. After all,  golden apple juice restores electrolytes. 

During a restaurant dinner (you're treating me to), I disappear to the bathroom with your drinking glass. You're not going to leave your new drink standing there, are you?

Untouched mountain landscape, snow-covered slopes, and my piss in the yellow snow, which you obediently eat. The best ice-cream you ever tasted, right?

You don't necessarily need water for waterboarding, do you?

I have a film in which I filled a small swimming pool with urine collected over several days. You will bathe in it and taste it.

I also really enjoy peeing together with my fellow dominatrixes to make it extra difficult for the slave. How much can you handle?

This is how I do it during a session

As with all practices, we have a preliminary discussion before our first session together. I may wiggle back and forth a bit in my chair because I urgently need to use the toilet. 

Toilet training has several stages. First, I need to know how much you can take and where your limits are. Would you like to get to know all my excretions better? Or are you only interested in golden showers for now? Do we want to combine golden shower games with other kinks? I have a few ideas. 

In my studio, I have some accessories and tools to rein******* my desires. One of my favorite items is a scent mask that makes the wearer inhale the scent of my urine with every breath. I also have several different funnels with different attachments and mouthpieces. There is also a mouth gag in the shape of a urinal, which leaves you with no choice but to swallow. 

Important: Of course, you are not allowed to touch or lick my pussy while I pee. 

Taste me. Drown in me.

Swallow.

This is the only way you can serve me: as a toilet that takes in everything my body gives you. You will not waste a single drop of my sacred champagne.

And maybe then a part of me will be in you forever.

Why I will dominate you anally

What is it like to be completely at my mercy, lying vulnerable and exposed before me? Find out for yourself.

Anal sex has an appeal that is difficult to put into words. Is it the animalistic urge? Is it the taboo of conquering this tight, forbidden orifice? Or is it the physical pleasures that penetration of the anus triggers? In my dominatrix practice, there is another aspect: Submission. I will explain to you what anal intercourse with me can look like, what to expect, and how to prepare for it. 

Anal sex with me

To get this out of the way right away: we are not talking about you having anal sex with me. No. I will have anal sex with you.

Not sure why that's a difference? Then let me put it more clearly: my strap-on dildo and I will dominate you. You will lie before us, vulnerable and at our mercy, taking everything we give you. Anal intercourse with a dominatrix means that you play the passive role.

Yes, it is painful. For many men, it is also somewhat humiliating. But above all, it is vulnerability: a state that men rarely find themselves in (or are allowed to be in). How often are you allowed to let go in bed as a man? And how often are you allowed to do so in your everyday life? There will be no pressure to perform—there can't be, when I lock your cock in a cage as well. You don't need it right now anyway. 

But just because your useless penis will bounce to the rhythm of my thrusts doesn't mean you won't have an orgasm. Do you know what an anal orgasm is? With the right stimulation, your prostate can be milked to the last drop. The feeling is completely different from ejaculation. Deeper, more expansive, it goes through your whole body and comes over you in waves. Whether I allow you to have this experience, we'll see. 

Why (and how) I love pegging

Pegging (strap-on sex where the man is the passive recipient) is the reversal of traditional gender roles. After a session, you're guaranteed to never skip foreplay again in private. I see my work in this area as a service to women everywhere. 

And: I love the image of a dominatrix with a strap-on dildo. 

Of course, I prefer to wear the biggest cock possible. You do too, don't you? My favorite size starts at 4 cm x 20 cm. That's what I feel most comfortable with. It will probably be different for you. The fear in your eyes arouses pure anticipation in me as a sadist. But there are also very practical reasons: a large dildo doesn't slip out of you so easily. 

I am just as attracted to power as I am to the vulnerability of men. That they get to feel what it's like to be in this position. To be sexually used for my pleasure. To feel how I stretch and fill you, how my strap-on pushes into you centimert by centimeter. That is pure dominance. 

How a good sub prepares for the session

I expect you to arrive clean for the appointment. 

For a planned anal session, this includes a few additional steps in addition to the obvious personal hygiene. First and foremost is an anal dounche, which empties and cleanses your intestinal tract and prepares it for penetration. 

There are several ways you can clean yourself anally. A shower attachment serves its purpose, although I personally prefer the handy, manual anal douche. Warm water and several rinses ensure that I don't have to find any leftovers from your dinner during the session. 

If you are unable to do so, we will have to repeat the rinsing during your session at the dominatrix studio. 

To help you prepare for our anal session:

1. I usually use lubricant and stretch you first with a few gloved fingers. I sometimes wear acrylic nails, which can be intimidating for total beginners. But I can handle them with sensitivity—you don't need to be scared. You might be more scared of what comes next, though.

2. My favorite position is missionary. I want to look into your eyes when I take you. Thanks to my bodybuilding, I am flexible and strong enough to challenge you physically in many ways. My stamina is also impressive. You're not getting tired already, are you?

3. Yes, it will hurt. We will discuss your personal limits beforehand and agree on a safe word that you can use to stop the session at any time. Despite all the preparation, stretching during anal sex can be painful. However, the pain rarely lasts long and, with a little relaxation, quickly turns into pure ecstasy. 

The next level: deep anal play and fisting

Anal play has several levels of intensity. Pegging with a strap-on dildo is by no means the most intense practice I can do with you. Even a 20 cm dildo does not penetrate you particularly deeply (comparatively speaking). 

When it comes to anal sex, girth is more important anyway. After all, the intestine is several meters long. There is virtually no size limit on the length of my toy. Different shapes, nubs, or squirting functions make my strap-on dildo an all-purpose toy. And why does it always have to be silicone? My fist will definitely fit in your ass. Maybe even both. 

We also have a few options besides penetration. Enemas are not only for cleanliness, but with the right mixture of ingredients, they can also be used as punishment. With the speculum, I can inspect your hole closely. E-stim, pain play, multiple rounds: the list goes on and on.

More extreme anal games naturally involve more risk. You shouldn't expect me to fist you three times and stretch your rectum to the size of a soccer ball on our first date. I need to be sure that you know your limits and can communicate them. 

Why I love to see you weak

Your ass belongs to me. 

Read that again. 

You belong to me. 

When I'm having fun with you, your comfort becomes irrelevant. Your hole is there for me to use. So I can revel in your pain and see how vulnerable you are. 

Pegging brings you into a role reversal. You will experience what it's like to feel sexually used. My thrusts will be your metronome as you lie helplessly beneath me. 

And I'm just going to enjoy it when my cock penetrates you. 

Do you really know what you want? And can you express it? 

Consent in BDSM is more than just nodding and letting things happen. Mutual consent means that we clearly communicate our desires and fantasies (but also our limits). These considerations play a central role in an encounter with a dominatrix. You should know how I play, my expectations and the framework within which we operate. That's why I'm explaining my philosophy on consent in the Femdom world in detail here. 

Crossing boundaries is not a merit

 Many subs think that the ideal slave has no boundaries and lets his mistress do whatever she wants with him. That's wrong.  

Boundaries are only exciting if you can play with them. Boundless devotion is not only unrealistic, it's boring. As a sadist, I want to enjoy seeing you reach your limits and overcome them. To do this, you need to be in touch with yourself – a challenge that not all slaves are up to. 

When you're hanging from a hook in the ceiling, your mouth gagged and your arms tied, you should know the limits of your body. For your own safety (and mine), you should be able to perceive and communicate how close you are to fainting, for example. This is, of course, an extreme example, but it applies to many other situations. 

When you submit to your mistress, you entrust her with control over the situation. It is important to me that you do not act out of pure lust, but that you can realistically assess the risks. Only then will we discuss how a session between us can proceed.

How I regulate Consent in my Sessions

Life is downright dangerous. Whether in traffic, sports, or nightlife: we take risks every day. BDSM is no exception, and yet at the same time it is completely different. Because we negotiate and talk about what we do with each other. 

Consent is the principle that all actions and practices are agreed upon and take place by mutual consent. It is a cornerstone of the BDSM subculture and the core of my work as a dominatrix. At the same time, it is an almost philosophical question: How does consent work when someone screams no but means yes?

(A small tangent: This is what makes consensual non-consent so appealing: fantasies that play with deliberately crossing boundaries, where the “safeword” is ignored, where the dominatrix asserts herself and breaks boundaries. This is a difficult and complex topic that I will give its own space in the future.)

We are talking about risk-aware consensual kink here. Much of what we do in BDSM is inherently risky. We have to acknowledge this risk in order to play with it by mutual consent. For me, this means that I can rely on your communication. 

“Stop” is not a Stop Word: My Safewords in BDSM

I don't use “stop” as a stop word in my sessions, but rather the traffic light code for better communication about boundaries:

“Green”: This feels good, let's keep going!

“Yellow”: We're approaching a boundary, but I want to explore further!

“Orange”: Let's stop at the next opportunity!

“Red”: Stop immediately! 

Of course, we can also agree on a different system. In sessions where your mouth is otherwise occupied, I prefer to use a small object that I place in your hand. If you drop it, that's our stop signal. 

Only those who are in touch with themselves can serve me

In my long-standing relationships with my slaves, I have observed an interesting trend. After some time—sometimes weeks, sometimes years—some slaves begin to beg for practices that were previously taboo (e.g., scat or ballbusting). Not because they have suddenly acquired a taste for it, but because they want to please me.

Perhaps it's also because our relationship is so deep and trusting that they feel safe even when it comes to harder practices. The line isn't always clear, even to me.  Approaching a boundary is one of the most interesting moments in a session. I find it exciting to watch the emotions flash across your face. Some slaves are verbally expressive on their own, moaning, breathing and begging. This makes it easier to read their emotional state. Others still have difficulty feeling themselves. They don't recognize their own physical limits and struggle with the emotions that come up. That makes it more challenging for me.

I'm not inside your head (even if it feels that way) and I can't judge how you're doing from the outside.

If you cross your boundaries out of misunderstood devotion, you're not doing me any favors. Keep that in mind.

Consent for my Video Slaves: What I require from you

As a video slave, you are available for video shoots and photo shoots. This means that the power dynamic is not only between us, but that there is also a performance for the camera. This makes it even more difficult to maintain consent.

My video slaves receive a filming contract that clarifies usage rights and other legal details. We also discuss in detail beforehand in which areas you are resilient and can serve as a filming partner.

This role is not suitable for beginners. You should know your limits and be able to communicate them in advance. Only apply to be a video slave if you have experience with BDSM scenes and are generally robust and reliable. It's no use to me if we have to stop filming because you overestimate your limits.

Consent in a Dominatrix-Slave relationship: My Philosophy

We are border crossers in BDSM. And in addition to a firm hand, this also requires a certain sensitivity from both of us.

It is not always clear where the boundaries lie. Maybe you can go further than I expected. Maybe you need to stop earlier. Maybe you can't yet feel yourself and we have to practice communication and self-awareness. All of that is okay and allowed. 

It is important to me that our encounter begins on a realistic basis. Your expectations should be as clear as mine. Then (almost) anything is allowed in our session. 

Do you really know what you want? I want you to say it.

On the pictures: My very first shibari suspension with my loyal property.

On 70 square meter play space my slaves will experience more pain and pleasure than ever before...

Fixated on the Bondage Bed, they will gasp for air, while I facesit them...

In the big open shower, I will train my subs to become my perfectly functioning toilets.

In the clinic room, I will take their anal training to the next level and offer special medical treatments with needles and dilators.

In the whipping room my victims will have to take lots of punishment, while I caress their head...