A dominant woman must be noble, distant and exclusive.

She is inaccessible, always covers her female sexual characteristics and doesn't let anyone touch her!

Nude photos and sex movies are not exclusive, but third class.

This thought is thrown at me from time to time, claiming that this is the only way to be perceived as a credible and real goddess.

However, I started out as a sub and am still a self-confessed switcher; even if I don't offer this in sessions. I don't think this makes me more untrustworthy, but on the contrary gives me experience that other dominatrixes may not have. I know how it feels to feel powerless and helpless. I know the meditative state between pain and arousal. I know the shame feelings, the fear and the vulnerability. I know the need for love mixed with violence.

Thus, I understand the desires of my subs and can respond to them.

Secondly, I think that behind the former statement there is also sexist and patriarchal thinking. Why is a dominant woman only valuable and credible if she is clothed and sexually unapproachable? Doesn't this also conceal the belief that women cannot or should not be sexual? Isn't someone else trying to tell me how I should be?

What if I am a dominant exhibitionist? If I love to have sex in front of other people. What if I love to have sex with many different people, preferably at the same time and in front of an audience? What if I love to drive others crazy with my naked body? What if I want to share my sex life with you on video?

What if I am a dominant woman who stands by it and shouts out into the world: I am strong and I am vulnerable. I am top and I am sub. I have no shame and no fear to show my body as it is, because my body is not a sex object, but a work of art. 

Female genital mutilation is a daily reality in many African countries. In Burkina Faso, for example, 70 percent of women are circumcised, even though circumcision is now banned and classified by the U.N. as a human rights violation. Between the ages of 0-15, girls are circumcised against their will, getting their clitorises and sometimes their labia minora and labia majora cut off. Some are even stitched, leaving only a small hole for peeing and menstruating. Infections, complications and pain during intercourse and childbirth are not uncommon. Some girls die during the procedure itself and all suffer terrible pain. Female circumcision is intended to maintain social order and ascribe "value" to women by preventing their sexual arousal. In the documentary "Female Genitale Mutilation - A Burkinable View", men say that this practice does not make them active lovers, but mere objects. This cruel, health and psychologically damaging tradition is one of the most blatant forms of female oppression.

That's why I support a project in Tanzania that works against female genital mutilation and child marriages. I want to do good with my work and help other women to lead a healthy and fulfilled life.

In total, I donate 10 percent of my income. You can read more about this under "Info". There you will also find the the project in Tanzania if you want to donate yourself.

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